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In true keeping with my star sign and representative tattoo, I am most heavily burdened by a need for the thoughts and feelings I communicate to be understood. Where verbal attempts fail, my writing, or typing must still bleed out. I have not made every attempt possible until I am muttering out to the universal abyss in an effort to be received. I didn't anticipate dysfunctional communication between two Geminis (June 2 - he -) and June 5, myself. Yet, where attraction, admiration, affection and effort exist, there is still a disconnect in regard to intention and perception. If I am taking something the wrong way, I can admit that a situation is out of balance. Not so with some people. "I" statements are important. Years of therapy has reinforced that notion. Don't say you said something when you mean that you should have said something, or all you said was "x" when you said "x, y and z." The lack of accountability for words said and tone used is completely lost on my boyfriend. When he does something, like raising his voice or saying something snide, he'll wait until I react in anger and then say he wouldn't have said what he did if I hadn't called him a name or cursed at him (actions that clearly took place after his.) How can he misconstrue or flat-out lie about such recent events? As soon as I say anything, everything ge did or said leading up to it is stricken from his memory or something. He distorts the truth. "You called me an asshole." No, I didn't. I said screw you. "Same thing." No, not the same thing. "All I said is that I was upset somebody drank my beer." *No. You screamed for 30 minutes and said, "and it's your fault Dennis drank ny beer." Then he says, "I apologized for yelling." *and then continued to yell. Apology invalidated. I said "Think before you speak." Now you're being derogative. ::starts yelling more about being called names and how I am derogative and his feelings are hurt. No, why is the discussion re-framed to you and your precious feelings to the exclusion of all else. He is incapable of looking at a situation in its entirety once there is a frame victimizing him that he can put all of his energy into defending to avoid reconsidering his prior thoughts and actions. I cannot stand the lack of admission or omission of unfavorable facts when we are discussing an argument. That is a form of lying. Don't try to twist the story and make it all about you. Maybe that works with some women you've been with before with less of a grip on reality than you but I am very present-minded and lucid. I will not be convinced that everything is my fault or started with me. And you can't use that as an out or reason why we're fighting when it just isn't true. It's an insult to me and a disservice to yourself if you have any integrity at all. I guess it feels better to shift the blame than to feel guilty-scratch that-admit guilt--my objective is acknowledgement not self beration or groveling to atone for your actions. All I want is the truth and genuine responses to the truth. Is that so much to ask for?

It is so frustrating to communicate upset feelings delicately and composed just to have them trivialized and invalidated by a partner.

Even if what the other person is saying doesn't make immediate sense to you, it is part of a committed relationship to attempt to understand where the other person is coming from, even if it doesn't make immediate sense to you. At the very least to acknowledge the feelings exist.

I basically received the equivalent of a pat on the head (like a dog) and a sarcastic, like I am putting on a song and dance for attention. No.



And for a man who so emphatically expresses not being respected or heard by his bandmates when there is an issue with his music project, and the ensuing frustration of being ignored...that there would be some recognition.

I already feel like I am walking on eggshells in an environment where tension manifests through actions and the absence of actions in a man's world. Internal sighing and waiting for moods to pass, plenty of time for speculation. But here's the kicker: I don't make assumptions or accusations, I ask open-ended questions.

I don't say, "*You're* doing this or being that way."

I will state a fact. (This happened. Are you feeling angry at me or no?) Not, "you're acting like a toddler in a huff, lolwtf."

Effective communication is important to me. I know that unspoken feelings fester into resentment so I try to air them within a reasonable time period of their inception. I don't think that's silly or unreasonable!

::crushing my head::



So, to avoid making a lovefool of myself on the book of faces, I need a place I can fangirl about my crush without shame. So, a new guy showed up to the karaoke contest a few weeks ago. Tall-ish, lean muscular build, gray waffle henley and beanie. If he were a cartoon character, that's what he would be wearing. He seems shy at a glance, but the man can sing like he owns the stage. I love his 90s alt rock selections and genuineness. I've heard good singers before, but when someone really means what they're saying (or singing), there's something extra captivating about it. Probably why he won the contest. He's been coming around about once a week for a while and then heading out since he works early mornings (=oP) There's something about him, besides being humble and talented and endearing. When we're talking, the gaze seems to linger. His eyes are hazel or brown, or somewhere in-between. At any rate, when he looks at me I know he is looking into my soul with genuine intrigue. The second time I saw him, he grasped at my shirt tail and it was simple but the touch barrier was broken. The next thing you know, we're dancing and talking but for the first time in a long time, more is being communicated between the words. He asked me out via text, and has made some suggestions about karaoke collaborations between the two of us. I am feeling very cautious because the last few guys I've been interested in just ghosted on me after getting me in bed. I feel leery but not hardened by my past experiences. I know it's not fair to expect the same intentions and behaviors from everyone. Yes, I'm lonely and starved for affection, but I really think he likes me and this could be something real and special. In the back of my mind, the warning signs are blaring to not have expectations, to not get excited, and if I feel it to not let it show. But I also know that being closed off will never allow something real to blossom. Since Jarrod, I have looked so 'long and regretfully' at the closed door - I truly believed that I would never love again. I haven't yet. (Is it a self-fulfilling prophecy?) I hope it's not too late for me.
Another day, another imperative item lost. Like Toodles and his marbles, I am notorious for losing things. It's always a wonder to me why it is that whenever something unfortunate happens in my life, my parents are more upset about it than I am, even when it affects them in no way whatsoever. I know I am absent-minded and clumsy, I have been my whole life. I don't know why it doesn't seem to have registered with my parents yet. Now, I don't trivialize the worth of material possessions that serve a purpose. Even though I didn't really need a smart phone, I did feel bad for misplacing a $600 one. I don't know if I've become desensitized to the sting of losses or pains, or I am just more and more disillusioned by the things that other people care about. I was talking to an acquaintance a few months ago about being an adrenaline junkie. I told her that I had never had an adrenaline rush. I don't think I have. The one roller coaster I ever had the guts to ride ended up with my guts all over the seat after the ride stopped. But I held on for dear life the whole time. White knuckled, just waiting for that feeling to be over. I don't identify with the people who have their hands in the air, screaming with exhilaration. I assume that my cardiovascular system has the ability to get an adrenaline rush...perhaps reserved for its biological purposes during trauma or a fight or flight situation. I'm not sure. I was talking to another friend about auto-erotic asphyxiation. I can conceive of the idea that a person can elevate a high by temporarily cutting off oxygen to the brain...but it seems to me like skipping ahead to the last chapter of a book and being unable to enjoy the rest after that. I don't think asphyxiation is the ultimate sexual experience, but I can conceive that once a person has an orgasm that way they will want to keep "chasing the dragon" so to speak. I remember seeing a documentary on television recording Jay from Jay and Silent Bob shooting up heroin. He said, "it feels like chocolate cake and falling in love for the first time, all at once." WTF - Well that's fantastic, but why spoil the rest of what life has to offer by introducing something incomparable to any natural sensation. I fear addiction, I fear feeling nothing at all. I even abstain from sex more than other people for fear of it becoming so commonplace that it isn't sensational anymore. The last few times in recent memory that I had sex were phenomenal, which is what I am used to. If I am comfortable enough with someone to be intimate with them, I can come very easily and again and again. I don't use lube because I don't need lube--my body reacts as nature intended. I don't want to fuck myself out. I know people who have done that. The last person I considered dating admitted that he is a sex addict. For obvious reasons, that makes us about as compatible as oil and water. I don't want to spoil my own fun by becoming complacent, you know...I want my throat to guzzle down to the butterfly cage in my stomach. I want to pulse with longing desire and have no one know about it except the lucky one close enough to see the dilation in my pupils. To hear the racing palpitations and my pulse. I suppose it's not all me, though. It isn't often that someone desires me enough to kiss through my endless babbling brook of thoughts spilling out all the time. The only things that seem to shut me up long enough to wriggle out of my head and slip into my body are a quicker wit than mine to trump a conversation, catching me by the element of surprise or in a fit of laughter. So. That requires being around an attractive man who is intelligent, funny and sly. I don't come across these types often. When they do appear, I can definitely become enchanted and forget all reservations or suspicions I may have had about the person. When the light of their aura is gone, I usually find myself having been used. A single-serving of intimacy, a lay. Not a woman to be wooed or pursued. Now, to be fair...I don't spend my time trying to become a "prize" for a man, or a face to be seen and not heard outside of the bedroom. I am not demure, I am bold and opinionated and free. I guess changing surroundings is just one of the prices I pay for being a butterfly on the run. Where will I perch, or will I ever. I quite like the idea of being fleeing and flitting and meeting as many peculiar people I can on this queer ball of matter we call earth. If I am forever deemed a gypsy or a spinster, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I am happy belonging to myself and following my dreams and desires without looking around or back. I do imagine another strange spirit latching on to mine for a tandem ride around this thing. I may need to slow down or circle around some more to allow the opportunity, though.
Greetings, Earthlings. In case I hadn't mentioned, I have had an um, colorful year, In a bunch of unexpected ways. I wasn't fazed by the big ③⓪, but it did turn out to be tumultuous and a strong test of my resolve, responsibility, self-control and bravery. I got a DUI, which by the way, if you didn't know....in Washington carries severe penalties, no money can buy your time. A commuted sentence perhaps, but a conviction carries at least some jail time and 2 years of supervised probation with piss tests and house arrest (oh boy!) -_-

So, if I didn't mention how I got to WA, my best friend Amber used to work with me in Alabama; she moved just as suddenly from her hometown to the new land of Alabama as I would to Washington a few short years later. So, we became friends in a sort of non-traditional way...before I ever met her in person, I saw her name in an email as a top salesperson at our commission-based workplace. I felt at once both intrigued and slightly threatened. So, me being the curious cat that I am, set out to find her among the 300+ agents in our call center. I figured out whose team she was on, and casually strolled by the area during breaks and lunches. I wanted to hear what she was saying to customers. At the very least, I could learn some new techniques, right?

Well, as soon as I heard her voice I knew I had been out-performed by the simplicity of sex appeal. Amber is an attractive girl, but she also has what I call a bedroom voice; sweet, high-pitched. It also helps that she is genuinely sweet to everyone, whether they deserve it or not. She would treat a common criminal with the same courtesy and demeanor as she would a small child or dog. She's a sweetheart.

So, I don't remember how I broached the subject but I introduced myself to her. I explained to her that sometimes I would be on a phone call for 15 minutes before being able to close a sale and I heard her do it in under 3 minutes sometimes, just by asking for the business. I am more methodical; I build rapport, trust, demonstrate competence, then introduce features and benefits and how they will meet that client's specific needs. Ask open-ended questions, overcome objections, etc. etc. etc. I worked hard to get to the top in this field; it's not easy to do. Well, it was for her. But this was all part of her magic, her mystery, her charm.

Amber is the type of person who will be loyal before she even knows the character of the person for whom she is giving her pearls. (Wisdom, love, resources, attention, affection, etc.) So, as a result...she has sometimes found herself in hot water before she knew what hit her. When she was talking about moving to Texas to live with on a goat farm with a guy she met in Texas...whose only photo was of Chucky the Doll, I knew I needed to intervene!










Aug. 16th, 2015




Oh em gee,
I don't even know what to say in this other than that this is a site I used infrequently when I was about 15-19. I am 30 now, . But I am resurrecting the thing because there is a lot that I want to get off my chest (and monkeys I *NEED* to get off my back!) Pleasure to meet you, I am Ringmaster Megan.
This is my circus, these are my monkeys. Say hello, monkeys.
,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸

Ok, so. Where should we begin? I have been through a natural disaster (Hurricane Katrina, 2005 - I was 19),An eight-year heartbreak with a man I committed to love until the end. I never dreamed in the end it would be him who pushed me away. It wasn't his fault; I understand. When we got together, he told me he had a non-cancerous tumor on part of his brain. It didn't manifest into any cognitive or behavioral complications until a few years later. At which time, he began seizing, had to take anti-psychotic/anti-seizural medication. Everything deteriorated rapidly from that point, most agonizingly, his memory and free-spirited, childlike sense of wonder and zest for life. He knew I had been in his life; he knew he was sexually attracted to me *and despite completely cutting me off in every other way, still sporadically hooked up with me for 3 years after we broke up* 2007-2010. I loved him so much I would have given everything I owned, been anything he needed, acquired anything that would make him smile or ease his suffering. I would have been his financial support, his nurse, his therapist. I was willing to become anything to stay in his life in some capacity. He knew I cared very deeply for him, but he also knew that he no longer cared for me. He didn't have the heart to tell me that, though. But he did "break up" with me, but he used me for what he needed from time to time. Sex, a job - I secretly held out hope that he would come back to me. I was a supervisor and sales trainer at the time - I had worked my way up in this company for 4 years.
So I got him an entry-level job. It started off we remained cordial for a while. Until his assigned cubicle was positioned directly in my line of sight, until I had to maintain composure while lecturing and leading discussions in a classroom full of people and our eyes would meet. I lost about 45lbs, I was eating nothing more than an apple, an orange and a can of soup per day.
I cried myself to sleep; I moved my cubicle...but I couldn't remove the lumps in my throat or the pains in my chest. If he was there, if he wasn't there. I wondered if he found my body more attractive this way. Then one day, I was taking a "supervisor call" in his cubicle and he just whispered to me: "You look like you're wasting away." --I was.
But he didn't know it was from the inside out. My performance at work began to suffer - I was unfocused and fighting for him when I should have been fighting for myself. I had 4 weeks of paid time off, and called in sick 15 times before March of that year. I had become a vegetarian at this point...and I found out Jarrod (I can say his name without wincing now) was banging one of our coworkers-- possibly the most obnoxious girl in the place, with fake boobs, no less. I am a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, all right. It struck a nerve.(¬_¬) ( . Y .)



Get yourself together don't hate (never do it)♫

Jealousy's the ugliest trait (don't ever do it)

Anyway, I berated him publicly that day, and resigned before I got fired. Everything I had worked for, the whole pile I had amassed during the time we were apart...set aflame and crumpled into ash before my very eyes. Looking back, I can't believe I sacrificed so much for this man, this ghost of a soul that used to inhabit a body.

::Years of self-loathing, suicidal ideation, misery::

Sweet mistery♫
Why does my heart make a fool out of me?♫
Jarrod and I were both agnostic, we were happy together and didn't feel a need to institute marriage. After his tumor began affecting his mind and his body, he became a born-again Christian. Within the next few years he got married, had a baby boy and moved to Florida.

Can't blame him for getting out of the American wasteland that is Alabama, USA...



I would follow suit a few short years later. I found myself working for a corporation with over 8,000 stores nationwide. I had an opportunity to move from the most backwoods, backwards, culturally-lagged by at least 20 years - state of Alabama - to what I knew from Bill Maher and alternative press, was the most progressive and liberal state in the nation,
Washington State! I did it, and don't regret it!






I was amazed at how well preserved the land and water was. I was amazed by the amenities and opportunities that natives here seemed to take for granted. The brains of Washingtonians are more developed, I think in part because they are so much more oxygenated than places of waste and industry such as AL. There are streetlamps, and wildlife preserves and (well maintained and open) state parks. Mt. Rainier and the Cascades, forests, lakes, rivers, ocean. Public and clean.There is a fantastic transit system, made up of buses, trains, bike lanes, sidewalks and trails. The walking trails actually connect all the way from Olympia to the Columbia River and up through Puget Sound. (INTELLIGENT DESIGN).

The 'Evergreen State' is true to its moniker--not just because of the marijuana production

(monetary proceeds: a cool $8m per DAY *cough*)
There's plant life everywhere, I mean everywhere.
Green mossy stuff even grows on concrete.





Did I mention this is a very pet and dog-friendly area? Pretty much any dog can be a certified companion animal- they go to the bank, they go to the store,
they go to the bar, the dog parks and the people parks.


I love dogs, so it is a delight for me!

There is intelligent human life here, too. Some societies, such as Olympia (nearest big city), are actually functional. Elected officials actually operate with the whole of its people in mind. Fewer politicians have been bought by big businesses. There is an air of decency wafting in from time to time. My friend and former coworker Amber told me that Washington was full of hippies.

Well, I never cared for tie-dye or fringe, but if it's a "hippie" lifestyle that includes:

sustainable energy, organic farms and food, naturopathic and holistic medical care, innovative entrepreneurs, cutting-edge technology, a great coffee joint everywhere you turn, the protection of a triple military branch location and enough non-profit programs to drastically reduce the number of hungry and impoverished citizens


...then I didn't know what I was missing beyond the cloud of
pot smoke shrouding the integrity and efficiency behind the movement!

TED

- Technology, Education and Design are hallmarks of society here. There are 10 year olds who have learned more real-world skills and unedited history than I got through my entire high school career in Louisiana. People invest in the trifecta of mental, bodily and spiritual health and do not sacrifice any one for another. (The more highly evolved people, anyway.) From about age 14 on, I suffered from clinical depression and social anxiety. Many misdiagnoses and medications later, I finally began to find relief for my symptoms - HYPERSOMNIA (excess sleepiness - I would sleep up to 19 hrs per day, barely functioning enough to shower, feed, clothe myself and work) HOPELESSNESS, INEXPLICABLE TEARFULNESS, EMOTIONAL FATIGUE, BAD MEMORIES ON REPEAT, and NIGHTMARES. It was through a combination of therapies: CBD hemp oil to eliminate nightmares, increasing my anti-depressant medication from one SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor - basically opposing catcher's mitts with enough windpower between them to capture and transmit my happy chemicals where they needed to go in my mind and body) to a SSRI+MAOI (Mono-amine oxidase inhibitor - an older class of antidepressant), to my own independent study on talk and behavioral therapy, as well as keeping up with medical journals and advancements in the field of mental health.

I found out about a risky but potentially effective chemical reaction classified as SEROTONIN SYNDROME, and that modern medical professionals consider it a last-ditch potential cure for major or clinical depression.

This resonated with me; I had been met with a lot of adversity in my move to the brave new world of Washington; trouble with the law for Driving Under the Influence, job loss due to said legal infraction, an uncomfortable and unbalanced living situation with sycophantic roommates and the birth of their baby (who, for the record, was an unexpected angel and not at all the nightmare I envisioned her to be while my roommate was pregnant). Unlawful termination from my job, mistaken identity disqualifying me as a candidate for my next job. The hassle of dealing with court costs, intended and unintended personal and professional penalties for my DUI. A corrupt County Court and justice system. 3 trials, one criminal and 2 civil (which are still going on, actually.)I was in a high-pressure, high stress situation in my life. I knew I landed somewhere good, somewhere with the potential for growth and quality of life if I could stay here.

Unemployment is lower here than most other places in the U.S. There are a ton of headquartered businesses that employ hundreds of thousands -
Starbucks, Microsoft, Nintendo, Boeing, Amazon...to name just a few.
I've now been here 2 and a 1/2 years....the hardest years of my life thus far, but the most recent being one of the most positively life-changing years to date as well.)

We must take the bad to appreciate the good, every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, and choppy seas teach you to weather storms.

The greatest challenge has been to resist allowing the wicked ways of people in the world to harden my heart.


I have been lied about, lied to, stolen from, belittled, berated and tempted by evil. The strength of my character and convictions were churned to the surface by some agonizing experiences, but brought me closer to and good.
There is hope, as long as there is breath in your lungs, empathy in your heart and patience in your mind, there is hope. If I learn something that can spare anyone else heartache or aggravation, I will share the wealth in a heartbeat. I feel like so many people are in an unnecessary contest for recognition, power and the upper hand. They use knowledge and resources to take advantage of innocent and unsuspecting people. It is a disgusting reality that so many people can sleep at night knowing they have extorted money, time and love from other humans by way of deception. A superiority complex goeth before a fall, my friends. I am not impressed by another's health, wealth or power. I am drawn to compassion, to kindness, to those who personally sacrifice what may please them for the greater good of all. That is what impresses me, that is what I respect and the kind of energy to which I am drawn.

Fortunately, the energies surrounding me on Planet Washington are at least half good. I have met some of the most selfish, disgusting scum of the earth, but I have also met some of the most well-adjusted, kind, generous, understanding friends ever. We must take on the bad to appreciate the good. *Inhale through your nose, exhale through your nose.*

I am learning about the importance of self-care and how looking out for patient zero, or #1...is essential to being able to be a vessel for God's work in the lives of other people. I can finally say with certainty, that I am blessed and motivated to walk in the light and listen for the truth as it is revealed to both my body and mind.


➳So, ℒivejournal. This is Megan Watts AKA ✶Megawatts✶ for new followers.
I will be using this as a feeling/thought repository more often, methinks.ツ

P.S. The libraries and schools are legit too. I dig that shit.







Welp, Tom Riddle's diary gets more use than my livejournal account, but since I had to come back on here to get the latest happenings in the life of my recently displaced Christy...I guess I can give a virtual wave to the blog world. Christy just moved to Washington DC. I have my sights set on the other Washington...I've even updated my online dating profiles to the places I could be living there even though it's 6 mos. away...Tacoma, Olympia, Seattle. I have eyes like diamonds for Seattle, but my potential roommate and unwitting life coach, Amber, lives in Olympia now and wants to move to Tacoma for school. I say she is an unwitting life coach because she possesses the adult life skills I desperately need to hone for myself. I know this because she lived with me for a couple of months after she moved to AL and became my coworker. She's the same age as me but she's been on her own since she was 18 (by choice.) She finds the craziest jobs to do, and does them all with the best attitude...and she's very frugal which is a quality I need as well...and she has a very modern pro-female approach to dating that I'd never seen before. Zero attachment! It's amazing. In the past, I have been heartbroken so easily and I'm beginning to think the culprit was nothing than my own desire to have a romantic partner fulfill the sense of purpose I should be providing for myself. At least I'm not fearful to the point of paralysis, though the last couple of hookups I've had turned out to be disappointing to say the least. 2 weeks into a sexual relationship: "Oh, you're in a relationship with someone else and we're just hanging out?" Or, in the most recent case a full on wooing, gentlemanly behavior, compliments....We sleep together....what happens? Never to be heard from again! I think I'll always be the easy kill. But I am hopeful for the future. A new coast, a fresh breeze (perhaps with a little rain) but without the harsh sunlight blinding me eyes and burning my skin. And maybe with a bit of decency among humanity, if not love....I love that Washington is into sustainability and has a liberal presence. {Meanwhile} I am biding my time after being sentenced in July to a 90 day probation for a DUI I got back in September of *last* year. Can't drive til the beginning of October. But I waited 24 years to get a license anyway, and managed to have some fun while I was at it. The older I get living with my parents though, the more it seems like what I should be doing is work and not play. That's another bonus about living with Amber, she has an extremely high balance between both. :) I don't even think she knows how highly I regard her, most people we worked with thought she was weird and crazy...I saw wild and fun! And accomplished...I went from being the top salesperson in Wachovia, turned out to be a big fish in a little pond...Amber was #1 at Regions, in a much tougher environment. I was 3rd. So that was a kind of eye-opener. I wasn't jealous, though...I was intrigued. Anytime someone does something that I want to be able to do, I want to become closer to them to learn their secrets...not to steal their thunder, more like to ride on their fumes and get a taste of how it's done. I've found that's the best way to become successful, is to find mentors and make friends out of them. I never want to compete with another person but I do want to learn from them. Everyone I meet knows something I don't know, and vice versa. Which is why I'm happy to divulge any morsel of a subject I may know about to whomever asks. So. What do I need to do to become hot to trot across the waves of grain and fruited plains that make up this nation?

Get a job and save $. I'm working on that, thanks to Christy for giving me a leg up at her dad's company Alagasco. I've already divulged the DUI and passed some tests for them. Just waiting to hear back from HR. If I could transplant that job's pay ($15/hr entry) and benefits to WA that would be grand, but it will make for great savings. I need to save $400-$600 a month. So as soon as the pay starts rolling in, that'll be great. Yeahh. Just need that lady to email me or CALL ME MAYBE. I will ask her for anticipated time frames next week.

I'm also trying to become the primary caretaker for my dog, James so that he will become dependent on me and not miss my parents too terribly much when I cart him across the country. I feel kinda bad for shirking the responsibility for his care to them. I have been walking him at night and giving him his meds and dinner. I need to start walking him in the morning as well, though, and feeding him then as well. Amber is a morning person who loves dogs, so that will be helpful. :)

I am also trying to lose 40lbs by the end of the year. It's hard for some people to believe, but in the past few years I have actually gained 65 lbs! I am cutting out the coke, besides at restaurants and the movies...and going back to my lacto ovo pectesarian diet. (That means I eat milk, dairy, fish and chicken but no red meat.) I lost a bunch of weight doing that before. And more h20 and not as much milk....I know no other adult mammals drink it, so it's technically "unnatural" anyway. But I love it so. Right now I am at 184 lbs...I will let everyone know how that goes. I'm glad I kept my clothes size 8-14 to accompany me on this journey.

I guess at some point I will prioritize a meaningful job, but right now I don't care about that. For now, my main thing is becoming a stable, independent adult. I can't fuck it up any more, it's cost my parents their sanities and a lot of money as well. :B Operation: Grownup! is underway...
What’s your favorite Tom Hanks movie or character, and why?


It would have to be Forrest, or Josh Baskin in Big!

Writer's Block: Snow chic.

What’s your favorite way to stay looking chic in winter?
A scarf!

Writer's Block: Single pride day

Given that we're less than a week out from Valentines, how do you feel about the approaching holiday? Will you participate or abstain? If you're not in a relationship, how will you celebrate your single status?
I like hearts and the concept in love in general, though I do not have a significant other or even a remote love interest on the horizon. I do plan on giving valentines and treat bags to my coworkers, however. (;